The reason for this blog is to show you why I am the way I am.

I do not say things or worry for attention and spite. I have a genuine disorder and i am persecuted every day if my life with this. It is a selfish disorder and my life is preoccupied with the thought of death.How ironic…..

Hypochondria is a serious condition that is often minimized.

Those who suffer from hypochondria are overly concerned or preoccupied with their health.

Although hypochondriacs think or imagine that they are ill, these individuals should not be confused with person’s who fake being ill to get attention.

Hypochondrias generally have a fear of becoming sick and dying.

When these person’s imagine sicknesses, they legitimately believe that they are falling ill or perhaps dying. In most cases, those who suffer from hypochondria also suffer from a range of anxiety conditions. Medically diagnosing hypochondria is tricky. Yet, doctors will generally consider many factors before confirming diagnosis.

It is a selfish illness. The preoccupation that comes with this disorder is absolutely Overwhelming.

Most hypochondriacs like me have had a childhood which involved family members or illnesses which caused trauma. This precipitates the illness.

I have friends and friends of friends who are really going through some serious illnesses and I feel for them. I do not act this way to be fake or get attention.

Part of the selfishness comes into play where I am unable to help my friends who are genuinely experiencing serious illness. I am unable to talk them them about there illness etc. Recently one of my friends had a close friend die and as much as I wanted to offer my support I was unable to. Why? Because the thoughts turn to my head and I begin to have the same illness.

After years of torment with this I have to protect myself from these thoughts as much as I can.
This illness can cause havoc on my family and my relationship. There comes a point where the people you love and care for dearly start to resent you and the selfishness shown.

It becomes a daily ritual of seeking reassurance, checking my symptoms, wondering if today will be the day I die.

For this I am sorry.

This is who I am and until you understand the way my mind works I will be “the Faker”, “the selfish bitch who always worries about herself” and “the office nutter”

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