As a modern Hypo with access to the World Wide Web here are some questions that maybe able to help you in your self-diagnosis!?
- Do you suffer from frequent, stabbing headaches?
- After hours on end of looking at WebMD, do you start to hallucinate and/or envision floating thermometers?
- Have you ever taken painkillers whilst still in the midst of an REM cycle?
- Is your online screening test count number over that of five a month?
- Do your hands involuntarily shake when first hearing of a newfound disease?
- Have you ever had more than three blood tests a year?
- Does the majority of your iPod contain health podcasts?
- Is your free time spent researching different diseases, “just in case”?
- Have you ever been hung up on whilest trying to have a serious conversation with a friend on the phone, insisting “But this time I know it’s real!”?
- Do you think you may have diabetes?
- Do you think you may have skin cancer?
- Do you think you may have anemia?
- Did the staff of your local hospital invite you to last year’s christmas party?
- Do you know the names and coffee preferences of all staff members in the ER, Dialyses, Neurology, Surgical, and General Medicine wards?
If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, then, congratulations! You are a hypochondriac. But don’t fret: I have some tips to help you through this hard time in your life.
Tip One: Just remember, you can’t die from hypochondria… at least you can cross one off your list! (One down, five billion to go).